the (runaway) artist

19 Dec 2009

snowing like a bitch for the first time this year

lol, i thought this was new england.

this is almost christmas. it should’ve snowed like 20 billion times by now…

anyway, idgaf because i just got home :)

vero wasn’t thinking when she said that. i’m still sensitive about it though because i KNOW i gained weight sophomore year, but i never actually changed my eating habits until AFTER that. i didn’t do anything that would make me gain weight except get my period. so yeah. i barely eat anymore though. and when i do it’s usually vegetables and bread…

sooo yeah. next wednesday we have early dismissal and i’m going over sol’s :) thursday doctor’s appointment(thank goodness), friday going with dad to my uncle’s house in ridgefield :), saturday- AKA BIRTHDAY- i was supposed to hang out with tyler, but seeing as things are the way they are, idk what’s going to happen :/… the tuesday after that at around 2 kathy, vero, sol, and me are going to go out to eat for my birthday :) just simple though- sierra grille/spanish food. kathy is going to invite her bf, vero is going to invite one of her friends, and depending how things are with tyler, i’ll invite him too- as a friend :/

i understand what i feel towards him better now, so now the ball’s in his court i guess… he has to text me.. or call me. or IM me. or reply to me on facebook. or show up to class on tuesday and actually TALK to me about this shit. idk what’s going to happen :/

yeah…i’m going to sleep. goodnight guys :) <3

add me on facebook -just search ayelet brandman.. i’m the only one.

19 Dec 2009

You wanna know what i eat most days? Nothing. So don’t fucking tell me that shit.

19 Dec 2009

Just got told that the reason that i have boobs is that i’m fat and i’m fat because of what i eat..i eat vegetables…

19 Dec 2009

Stamford mall… So many memories

19 Dec 2009

Shit. I was supposed to bring a photo id but i didn’t know. AND my dad was supposed to print directions. Completely left us

19 Dec 2009

19 Dec 2009

19 Dec 2009

onlyalonelyaccomplice:

mikefrisby:

The Phrase That Pays - The Academy Is…
THIS IS THE VIDEO WITH BRITTANY SNOW DANCING WEIRDLY HAHA.

This song was so sexy live!!!! [Just sayin’ x3]

 so many memories :)

18 Dec 2009

my friend wants me to write tyler a FB message. this is longer than she wants, but idk what to do/say

Hey.. okay so i’m probably making more of this than it deserves but i don’t know. i know you said i act different with you than with the whole class. that’s because it’s awkward asking you about your family or what’s wrong or your girlfriend or anything during class. that class is everyone’s time to fool around and just have fun, and i was assuming you wouldn’t want any of them knowing your business anyway. i joke with you the same way i joke with the rest of them, except you actually mean a lot to me so i do care about you and i do talk seriously too. They only see one side of me, the constantly failing at life dork who turns everything sexual right along with them. And I am that. but i’m also what you see, whatever that is. I hope it’s not a two faced bitch. that’s not what i try to be.
Honestly, i just don’t know what to think right now. When someone has a girlfriend i just stop liking them. that’s just how i am. i’m happy for the people, because i just see that. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s happiness. And even more when you read me those poems. I just wanted to be happy for you, be there for you. And i have a tendency of liking people i don’t have a chance with. because it’s easier and it’s safer. yeah, i get made fun of, but there’s no wondering what would happen. i already know nothing would happen. it’s easier for me, it’s not as scary. I don’t like not knowing things. I don’t like not knowing what someone thinks about me, so when i think that they think of me one way when it’s really something else- it’s just taking me a while to take it in.
I don’t know what’s going on right now, I don’t know what you’re thinking, and i know i probably shouldn’t tell you all this, but i don’t want to not be able to count on you. you know i don’t have friends here. you’re the first real friend i’ve had in a really long time. when you walked by in the hallway and all that i just about melted… i know it’s weird, but if you were trying to make me see you the same way- good job. it’s working. but i don’t really know anything right now.
all i know is that i want you to stay in my life, and i don’t want you to be sad or mad or depressed. you mean too much to me…

i don’t know if to kiss him or slap him. and he DOES still have his girlfriend. i’m so so so lost.

18 Dec 2009

I’m not sure if to kiss him or slap him